Most Like Someone From Mauritania

Stephen Irvine, 19 February 2013

With another birthday lurking around the corner, waiting for me like a hoodlum in a dimly-lit alleyway, it suddenly became very clear this week that my best days are firmly behind me and vanishing fast in my rear-view mirror as I hurtle down the motorway of life towards my inevitable doom. Having quite literally rolled out of bed I spied the unpleasant profile of my expanding waistline in the mirror with a groan, before heading to the fridge for a can of Fanta and the leftovers of the previous night’s curry. I need to make the most of this; it seems as though the price of fizzy pop is about to go through the roof.

A huge crisis

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Back Down to Earth With a Bump

Stephen Irvine, 15 August 2012

This week I ask you, dear readers, to bear in mind the simple, well established refrain that applies to most aspects of life on this wretched rock of ours; ‘what goes up must come down.’ That may sound like teaching your granny to suck eggs, and the example set by luminaries from Leslie Grantham, Prince Naseem Hamed and Gary Glitter through to Tony Montana just goes to show that the good times rarely last, and gravity is always patiently waiting to oversee our descent. There are still those who seem to believe that one’s salad days can extend into eternity, however, and this can prove rather strange to say the least when coming from people and institutions of fine repute and standing.


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